Written Proof

God Almighty,
Creator of all that we see,
He does not leave humankind
Not without his guidance and direction.
He has placed His thoughts into words
In order to benefit us.
God has revealed Himself
through the instrument of words.
Moses prophesied of a coming prophet
similar to himself,
Whose words the bible;
encourages us to see.
The apostle Peter
Did Identify this great prophet
To be Jesus Christ
As god’s own son
He is the ultimate prophet
No doubt, his words are;
The very essence of prophecy,
We should listen carefully
To what he has to say.
Regarded as a true witness,
The old testament is.
God’s dealings with; and divine instruction;
For all of humanity.
His teaching and conversations,
Were stuffed astoundingly full;
Saturated with quotes and illusions
From the Hebrew bible.
Clearly our creator did Inspire
This divine message,
Which was Revealed
Through apostles and the prophets.
And the Patriarchs too.
Through flaming fire in a bush,
And in a pillar of a cloud.
Through prophesy of sons and daughters,
And old men and their dreams
Through the vision of young men
And through Jesus’ ministry
God himself was revealed.
Through the use of his word,
He called attention towards;
All of the elements in creation.
Jesus

Captivity

The silence eats away at me
Feeding on my loneliness
Creating a large void within
These grey shadows haunt me
they torture and torment
I am stricken, destroyed
No happiness resides here
No sound of laughter
I’ve thrown in the towel
My soul decays
From this melancholic mood
To hope and dream and pray
Seems useless now
Emptiness has built a home in me
A deepening sea of nowhereness
Consumes me
Eats away at every connecting thread
Confusion feeds
Like a savage inside me
Leaving nothing
No worthy remains
I am destined to walk through life
Less ordinary
Alone and exiled
Different, disdained
My soul is overtaken by depression
It floods deep within
I worry my way through each day
Wondering what is to come
usually to my dismay
A flood of tears pours out of me
In all my expressions
I try to assure myself that everything’s ok
But who am I kidding
I burst into a spirit of rage
I have questions, I know there is answers
When I try to explain
I am much too weak, to afraid
This is how I feel though
There is no wrong or right
I try to battle with myself
But I always lose the fight.
Intimated by others
To real is this pain in me
I am losing control
My thoughts, they’re going wild
If only people knew what I thought
New this battle I fought
Someone please
hold my thoughts captive
Assure me that I’m thinking normal
Help me to think positive
Please don’t give up on me
One day I want to smile.

Heartbreak

What is heartbreak?
What is this intense feeling
thrashing through my heart,
Twisting it in sheer pain?
This sensation,
Takes a crippling hold of me;
Leaves me gasping for air.
I cannot breathe, I try so hard
Yet all I can manage are short, painful gasps,
My eyes are overwhelmed with tears
My vision is blurred.
I am aching all over,
But the part of me that hurts the most
Is my fragile heart.
Come back to me,
Do not leave me,
You are my life, I feel I am nothing without you,
now that I am alone, I would rather be dead.
I hate this feeling,
My body is numb,
time does not seem to exist for me.
My mind is in a state of chaos,
The world stumbles around me.
Everything is spinning.
I feel sick, my stomach is lurching
As I fall to the floor, only one thing comes to mind,
If I never again woke up,
Would you feel the exact same pain;
The kind that I am suffering through right now?
Would you feel as if there is a deep void in your body
One that can never be filled up?
Would you feel heartbreak?

Person I Long to be

A ray of light shines in
Day has awoken
Yet I lay here sleepless
My body is weary
Running in overdrive
My mind overworked
I lay awake thinking
I feel unsure
Something is missing
I need to escape this cycle
no longer able to endure
My days seem to never change
Like a broken record
Over and over they play
The tide carries me along
This is not me
I need to change
But I’m unable to break free
From this everyday stream
Needing to be unbound
the grasp of ordinary has taken hold
Clenched so tight
Its getting hard to breath
Yet my hope stays strong
I can change
Become that person
The one I long to be
Express myself in every way
Conquer these dreams
Putting my mind to rest
Then I may fall to asleep
Now more capable
To make changes in my life
Help out those in need
Touch people lives In a positive way
And leave my mark on society
Before I fade away.

Broken

A sense of worry deep within
Tugging and pulling
My heart aches as its torn a part
Left injured, bleeding
Wanting to repair it
But its too raw
Frozen in a painful state
Emotions piling up
Ready to burst, wanting to escape
Stopped in their tracks
A barrier is in the way
A wall too strong to break down.
Where do I go from here?
This unpleasant situation
Left me broken
Weakened and alone
Others around you seem to disappear
You walk around as if transparent
Floating through the day
Living seems pointless
Hiding seems like the only way
To escape the outside world
This feeling overwhelms
Floods you with doubt
Keeps you from showing yourself
letting yourself go
How do I move on from here
Is there a way out of this misery
A secret to exposing buried thoughts
Finding the inner troubles?
As of right now I wait
Covered it sorrow
No longer wanting
to wake-up tomorrow

Persevere

Beauty radiates from your smile
A ray of hope to those around you
Drawing closer we see a soul,
Full of immense compassion.
Your heart, though sheltered at times
still shines through with love.
Those in need can always come to you
Your touch on their lives is indescribable
Creating a world of difference
I see a hurt in the depth of your life
Something that causes you to hide
But I see god working in you
Taking a hold of that hurt and moulding it anew
Shaping your life for the better.
Times can be hard
Life can create unfathomable moments
full of drama and uncertainty
But you always manage to push through
Giving a ray of hope to others
Filling them with an awareness of hope
A realization that we can make it through
those hardships that try to pull us down
These burdens that you experience
May twist you and seem confusing
But in the end it is these moments
The ones you wish to disappear
That will cause you to become stronger
Never give up on yourself
don’t ever feel like you aren’t needed
And don’t allow these times of difficulty
To break you down or cause you pain
You are one of the strongest people
I have ever known
Believe in yourself
You have nothing to lose
Only an abundance to gain.

Life

Footsteps on the soft tread stair.
Suspended animation stare.
Cold winds blow some dreams away.
Melting in the light of day.Society has closed the door on every open mind
It’s captured all the innocence lost its reason to be kind
but not with me. no way
Hazy mirrors don’t let you see
What you really want to be.
I’m heading for troubleAnd trouble’s heading for me.
Traffic jam in my head.
Thinking of words I should’ve said.
Don’t know if I’m strong enough to face the world alone
Don’t know how I’d cope without the place that I call home.
Sometimes we stop asking questions
Because we’ve not yet found the answers
Could it be that’s why we lose our way?
What happened to the morals In this more or less world?
Everybody does what pleases them.
It’s funny I should say that But nothing ever changes.
Things may sometimes look different But it just rearranges.
If there’s a third world I must be in the second
Seems I’m neither here nor there
Living on the stair that’s neither up nor down
Sometimes wondering how long I will be around.
2 o’clock and my heart is ticking
In time with the clock on the wall.
I could have changed.I guess I always knew the ship was sinking.
Suppose I got too tired of thinking
How to solve the endless puzzle that was my life.
I walk through the days in a trance like statethinking but to no prevail,
I still wait guess when it comes down to it
You’ll never know if you don’t ever try.
You’ll never learn how If you don’t step outside
Your comfort zone where nothing ever changes
Everything is easy.You live your life in phases.
i be realizin that lifes no picnic
whenever I draw a line.someone rubs it out
maybe a plight for Eliminating fear and doubt.
I take a step.they take one too.
there is no escape from society
hovers near, no release
Saw a feather on the ground today.
Remembered there’s much more to life even more than you or I can see.
When I’m trapped inside the bubble that’s my world,
Sometimes I’m unaware there’s more to life than me.
I’ll miss the leaves when they fall to the ground.
I’ll miss the silence when there’s too much sound.
Let your conscience win
It’ll get you out of the mess you’re in.

Shattered

When I think of you I feel so blue
When I sit alone I wonder,
If everything we had
was just a dream
A dream that quickly faded.
So much I gained was lost,
My world fell apart
My hopes just left me.
Shattered remains of dreams I once had,
It used to be bright but now its just sad.
What would it take to calm the hurt and anger
Before tragedy strikes
And its too late
you’ll never know if you don’t ever try,
you’ll never learn if you don’t step outside,
You’re comfort zone where nothing ever changes.

Radiate

Waiting for something, not sure what
Sitting alone, pondering
Something deep down trying to escape
But my mind in wandering.
A symphony of sounds comes creeping out,
Exploding with miraculous feeling
Mesmerized by the sounds within
Taking it slow, this moment is perfect
The beat is building, getting stronger
Foot starts tapping, a smile appears
Feelings of peace and joy fill me up.
Pouring out onto those around me
Illuminate a light of radiance,
From the happiness I feel at this moment

At your side

A lost soul wanders aimlessly
Scared, searching
In the dark far too near
A dark creature, lurking
An unknown mist crawls
Along uncharted water
Quiet, lingers in the air
Sun is staring, unaware
The soul… falling slowly
The day stands still
Something changes, something holy
Rising up, birds start singing
The mountains tremble, awaken
Warmth descends, pierces deep
Feet lifting, mind shaken
Wind stops and trees bow
Surrounded by a blinding light
Start to tingle
An unknown hand upon the earth
Gently calms, erases hurt
Voices rise, filling the air
Crying out, no reply
A pinch is felt deep inside
Tears fall, deep sigh
Awakened soul no longer falling
Mind is clear, peace surrounds
No longer alone, no longer crawling
He is at your side

Surrender All

I give myself, my all to you
Ill do anything you want me too.
Stuck in a rut I call my life,
I need you know to get it right.
You called me out
You took my hand,
Held up so high I took a stand.
Overcome with grace and love,
I bore my all, Let myself go.
I found hope, I found faith
You’re the one that I belong to.
My spirit now healed
Filled with joy.

Behind the smile

Although you think you know me
And you think I’m a shining smile,
What makes you think that shining smile
Is truly a smile.
Do you really know me
Behind the smile?
When I’m with my friends
I can smile for a mile,
But when I am all alone
It somehow disappears.
I may look like a very happy person
But is that just the smile
Or behind it?

Restored

A life untouched, growth stunted
Colors fade, begin to crumble
Nowhere to go, expand or change
Wilting slowly, sadness growing
Stuck in a standstill, slightly fazed
Wanting more but nothing’s showing
Needs help, crying out
A gentle word, softly spoken
A loving hand, a strong hold
A spirit healed filled with joy
Beautiful flower; alive, restored.

Imagine

Picture a world without poverty or crime
Picture a world that’s not been ravaged by man’s time,
Where only beauty touches the eyes
No matter where you look
No you wont find the plans in any man-made book.
Picture a golden sunset over the distant hills
Picture glistening stars sleeping above,
Filling you with chills
Where the moon shines bright and the world stands still
It brings joy to our heart, a beautiful smile
You can only pray it’ll stay for a while.
So many moments have past when it seems,
I dwell within a world of dreams.
When everything I see and do
Can seem so magical, seem so true.
Every simple act has struck me like this
Incredible, so miraculous.

Blinded

All alone, engulfed in darkness
Waiting
Silence lingers in the air
My spirit is fading
Glass shatters in the distance
Chills run through me
A scream, echoes through the night
Yet her I sit blinded, unable to see

Silence

Staring off into space, time seems to stop
An array of Colours radiates in the horizon,
Gusts of wind, sweetly passing me by.
Alone I sit in the solitude of sheer silence
My mind is continually wandering,
Dwelling in the deep abyss of my thoughts.
What am I actually thinking,
Is there a point to my untold desires?
my inner moments, seemingly taunting me
No escape is seen or heard.
forced to endure these moments of reflection.
Unaware of my surroundings
feeling overwhelmed in this place.
Moments of time’s past emerge
Surfacing powerful emotions, unable to resist.
Why torture myself this way?
A sense of worry lingers, of untold extent
Awaiting answers that don’t exist,
Cravings so intense, still unfulfilled.
Could this be a sign?
Burrowed deep inside my heart
Feelings that need to be excavated,
Dealt with, before they explode.
Exposed and vulnerable,
I venture deeper into my mind;
Wanting to resolve what resides here,
Yet fear resonates through and through.
Am I strong enough to face this?
Is this what I need to do?
I’m unsure and scared, blinded with doubt.
But push forward I must
It’s the only way ill awaken from this state.
Fear is prominent in this excursion
But through fear I am truly alive,
Exhilaration abides here, within my very soul
Bringing me closer to my ultimate goal;
The only way to embrace the future,
By facing my past.

Kindness

Walking along the broken path,
trees above cradle over you.
A beggar on the corner sits,
Aged, unkempt and rugged
Those drawing near reject his cry
Glancing towards him
Their souls filled with sharp aversion
Yet your eyes shine, gazing deep
Towards this destitute man;
Filled with unfathomable compassion.
Ghastly chills caress the air,
Each breath pervades your lungs;
pierces deep and overwhelms.
A Tattered coat gives no protection;
This man in dire need, ashamed
Your smile shines brightly, dazzles
With kindness, offering a helping hand.
Yet taken back, sarcastically he accepts,
And inevitably vulnerable becomes.
An exchange of words ensues.
Life’s stories unwound , ideas intertwined,
Peace settles all around, soft and sacred.
This moment is seemingly perfect
True happiness finds it’s way to his heart.
Intense warmth swells up inside,
Eternally grateful for the gift received.
An angel through his eyes you became;
One simple good deed, a world of difference.
An unusual sensation sweeps through him
Thankfulness is emerging, a feeling long since felt.
Give those in need one of your smiles he says,
It might be the only sunshine they see all day.
How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it
Gratitude, is the memory of the heart.
My memory is now overflowing.

The Perfect Gift

Four year old Callie peered into her parents closet with eyes wide open and a giant smile spread across her face. Christmas was tomorrow and she wanted to wrap her fathers present in the most beautiful wrapping she could find; and she had spotted it, there in the back of her closet was a roll of shiny silver wrapping with pink hearts scattered all over it. This was the wrapping she had been hoping to find. She grabbed the gift, placed it onto the paper ( trying her hardest to be neat and careful like her teacher had taught her earlier that week in craft time). It had to be perfect. All of a sudden there was a noise at the door and her dad walked in. He saw her wrapping the box on the floor, grabbed the wrapping that was left, and threw it at the closet. He abruptly stood in front of poor little Callie and yelled at her; punishing her for wasting a roll of perfectly good wrapping paper for no reason. Her dad had been laid off of his job a few months earlier so money had been quite tight this Christmas season. Seeing his daughter wasting the wrapping paper was to him like wasting money; the thought of that infuriated him to no end. Callie started to cry as she took her box, went downstairs to her bedroom and sat on her bed. Even though she was very upset she decided to finish wrapping the gift. Looking at her very first wrapping job, Callie was pleased. She placed a tiny pink bow on top and snuck the gift under the giant Christmas tree that sat in her living room. The next morning Callie burst out of bed and ran upstairs; it was finally Christmas and she couldn’t wait to surprise her dad. She hadn’t seen him smile in a long time and she missed those smiles so much; maybe after receiving this gift her dad would be able to smile once again. She arrived to the living room and saw that the rest of her family was sitting around the tree, waiting for her. She went up to the tree and picked up the gift that she had been wrapping the night before. Callie brought the gift to her father and said, “Daddy, this is for you.” Her father was slightly ashamed by his earlier behaviour but he took the gift from his daughter and unwrapped it. His anger flared up again when he opened the box and saw that there was nothing inside; she had given him an empty box. Once again, he yelled at her and told her how rude it was to give an empty box to someone for Christmas and said, “Don’t you know that when you give a gift to somebody there is supposed to something inside? This is not a nice gift to give and was such a waste of money.” Callie looked up at her angry father and tears filed her eyes, she cried out to her dad and said, “ Daddy don’t you see? This box isn’t empty at all. I thought the best gifts came from the heart so I blew all the kisses I could into the box and wrapped it up quick before they could escape, the are all for you Daddy.” The father was absolutely humiliated; he quickly put his arms around his beautiful little girl and begged for her forgiveness, tears poured out of his eyes as he gave her the biggest hug he could. A couple months later the family was in a terrible car accident; and that accident sadly took callie’s life. The silver box that callie had given her father that Christmas now sits on his night stand. Whenever he is sad or discouraged he goes to the box and takes out one of callie’s imaginary kisses; always and forever to remember the love of his daughter who had placed it there. All of us have been given a box that is filled to the top with unconditional love and kisses. They are from our friends, family members, children and from God. We need to start putting our lives into perspective and really appreciate this gift that we have been given; no longer taking it for granted, as it is the purest gift anyone can hold. There is simply no other possession more precious than this.

Submission

Perhaps one of the most difficult spiritual practices is the discipline of submission. It is something that people in our culture are not used to doing. We want things to go "our way." I do not want to have to answer to anyone and I know that I don’t usually care to have someone tell me how to live my life. However, I do need the freedom that comes in living life in complete honesty, transparency, and openness to correction and discipline. I had to work hard to practice this discipline when it came down to understanding how I was supposed to respond when someone points out the sin in my life. I need to practice not getting defensive or angry and start listing all their faults. I need to try to examine the truth of what they are saying and actually take it to heart, I need to consider that maybe people say these things in my best interest. Most of all I figured out that I need to be open and accountable to others. The author of Hebrews wrote, "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They care for you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden" (Hebrews 13:17). I did find benefits of practicing submission. I realized that I will receive helpful guidance to grow in faith and love. Also, that I can receive much needed correction when I wander from safety. In submission I have to put the idea of me being better than anyone behind me , through this I will receive freedom from the burden of always having to have things my way.

Worship

We were created to value God. If we don’t give God the ultimate value in our lives, we will merely substitute something else into that place of priority. In short, we are always worshiping. One of the most important things that we can do during our walk with God is evaluate what it is that we are centering our lives on; what it is we are worshiping. That is a reflective side of worship. The other part is that we were made to worship God, when we do that, we fulfill our designed purpose. When thinking about the meaning behind the word ‘worship’ I got to thinking, Isn’t the Lord worth my very best living everyday? Worship is not just what people do when they come together on Sunday mornings. Worship is how we live our lives. Worship comes from within, not from without. It doesn’t matter what my physical attitude is or what music I use to convey the messages contained in my heart. What matters most is the attitude of my heart. It struck me this week that getting ready or preparing to worship should be more like getting ready for an event like a wedding rather than simply getting ready to go out to dinner. When I come to worship, I should expect that something is going to happen. I go to church to worship the living God after all. I Realized that worship begins in my daily walk with God. I should be consciously and actively living and worshiping before the presence of God. So I tried to continually pray, sing songs and worship God in every part of my life these past few weeks. If God is going to do something in my life, it will be God doing it and it will be because I am opening myself to Him doing that to me in my life. I tried to find ways to worship God everyday, realizing that everything I do is an act of worship if my heart is in the right place. I found that when you have this mindset then even the everyday annoyances and distractions can be used by God to convey messages to me. As I worship God, He will continue to change me to be more and more the person that He wants me to be. This is a discipline that I am going to continue working on and building up in my life in order to truly see the big picture that God has in store for me.

Service

It seems we live in a world that is so caught up in ourselves and we shut the world out through being absorbed in music, electronics and even through the busy schedules of our day. We are superficial and no longer take the time to care for ourselves yet alone care for others around us. The Discipline of Service means we are committed to serving others as Jesus has called us to do and it is a response as we look at what we do. It is about our response to God., It is about duty; it is about allowing our love for the Lord to flow through us and place it into the lives of others around us. Service builds and helps build character and strengthens us as a means of grace. The more we serve, the more Christ-like we become. This is about using the best of what God has given to us, being obedient to Him, and serving Him. We are all called to serve, our relationship with Christ is woven into all that we do in life. We went to the mall and practiced the discipline of service. While there I came to a harsh realization that people in our day are so internal; they are so disengaged with others around them. We would look around and not one person would make eye contact with us. Also, people had a hard time opening up in conversations with us, it is almost as though they thought that we must have alternative motifs in talking to them and they kind of shied away. Although the more elderly people were so happy that young people like us were opening ourselves up and taking the time to chat with them. They truly appreciated our kindness towards them and openly carried out the conversations with us. I loved seeing the smiles on their faces when they were talking with us. Through this experience I found that the key is to realize that serving others is not a burden or a chore we must do but it is a response from our love and gratitude, and in humility. It is our character in action. And, it is a discipline because it is not something we are to do occasionally or when it is convenient. When there is an opportunity, we should take the opportunity and jump in, we should keep our eyes open for opportunities like these on a regular basis.

silence and fasting

We live in a world that is manifested and defined by desperate times; an age where there is never enough time in the day, we start to get caught up in our daily activities and in return we forget to take the time to tune into God and to listen for what he has to say. Lately I have found myself dwelling on this aspect of my life; I have realized that I am one of the many people who has taken God and his many blessings for granted. I forget that waking up each morning is a gift that He can take away from me at any moment; I need to get my head on a bit straighter and pay attention to Him. After all, I do not deserve to be here, no one truly does. I must stop being so selfish in my ways; I must give up my full attention and direct it towards God, I must begin to actually listen to what he is telling me, and take the time to appreciate the many things he has given me. Matthew 6:16-18 says, “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” I spent three days fasting in order to hand my self over to God, the time I would normally have spent eating I spent in the solitude of my room praying, and listening to Him. I didn’t have any divine revelations in this time of reflection but I was able to relax and spend some time with God and really focus. I found that during this time I really felt at peace and had a sense of calmness that surrounded me. What I got out of this experience was an awesome time alone with God each day where I didn’t have to worry about anything; the daily distractions were taken away and I could actually think for a change. I really enjoyed this experience and even though I am now finished my fast, I realized I genuinely do need those few minutes in my day when I can forget about life’s problems, go someplace quiet and alone, and reflect in God. Whether through singing or listening to music, doing devotions, praying or just lying down with my eyes closed and listening to the silence within the atmosphere that surrounds me. It really does make the rest of your day feel more at peace, you feel so content afterwards. I will definitely continue to find a time each day to do this.

solitude

After taking the time to be silent and focusing in on God and my surroundings, I came to the realization that there are some things in this world that I can never truly know except through stillness; things like the magnificence of a flower, the calming music that is produced from the water as it is washing upon the sand, or the deep beauty of God's infinite power as it takes a hold and caresses my heart. I feel that I am conscious of God as I am rushing through my typical days that seem to be overflowing with busyness and demands, but it's only as I willingly stepped into the beautiful times of stillness and solitude that I truly came to understand who God is. Metaphorically speaking, He is not the sort of art that can be known with a passing glance, I need to take the time to gaze deep into Him, study Him, and truly appreciate what he has set out in front of me. To know God truly requires a quiet space and my complete focus – also a willingness to watch and listen until the revelation comes. Some of His most beautiful gifts come only through the stillness. Sitting there in the silence and listening felt so amazing. I was able to appreciate all that god has given to me, I was so in tune with what was happening around me, the birds flying and singing and the water rippling in the distance. The stillness of solitude really did awaken the awareness of my heart as well, I felt emotions that seemed to have been hidden in the hustle of my everyday life, emotions that were buried so deep; it also seemed to open the window to my soul, releasing all that has been quietly sealed up and hidden away inside. I realized that God's call to solitude is not a call to go off on our own and face our struggles alone but It's the call to come away and spend alone time with Him, so that He can minister to our souls and help heal us. The solitude was like a cleansing in a way, refreshing me. I got away from the pressures and burdens that the world continually tries to lay upon me and I got the opportunity that I needed in order to reconnect with what's most true and real about who I am in this world and who God is in my life.